Only for SINGLE folks, the married, stay married 🙂
One of the most quoted scriptures in Christianity is found in 2 Corinthians 6. The issue of being unequally yoked is a topic that is often briefly taught within the church. It appears that many teachers assume it to be something that can be easily understood and applied by Christians. I believe this has been one of the various contributing factors to the failure of many parts of the body of Christ living in alignment with this instruction. Although the instruction is clear and straightforward, a lot of people still lack an in-depth understanding of the great dangers and consequences of the matter. As a result, they find themselves compromising and falling for unbelievers and false believers. I am writing from personal experience and from what I have seen occur in our Christian community.
A ‘Yoke’ is a wooden crosspiece that is fitted on the neck of a pair of animals and attached to the plough for the purposes of ploughing a field or pulling a carriage.
Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. – 2 Corinthians 6:14-16
Paul wasn’t specifically referring to marriage in this verse but the principle is applicable to our close friendships, business partners and relationships. Imagine a farmer hooking up a strong ox to one side and a goat on the other side. Can they equally plough together? Never. One will be dragged along and hinder the progress of the other. They both will be pulling in different directions for their DESIRE and FOCUS differs. The ox may want to work in obedience to its master whereas the goat may want to run around like a clown. They will fail to work in alliance for they are UNENEQUALLY YOKED. Similarly, a relationship between a believer and an unbeliever will be as difficult to succeed in ploughing and sowing the Spirit’s seeds on earth. For the morals and worldviews of the two individuals vary.
Paul clearly divides us into two opposing groups. We are people of two kingdoms. Christians are people of the kingdom of Light and unbelievers’ of the kingdom of darkness. We are conflicting societies; two converse communities that are incompatible with each other in regards to the faith. One is based on God’s truth-the other on Lucifer’s lies. No partnership does or really can exist between these two realms.
As physically alive people, we recognise the impracticality of having a relationship with a physically dead person. Unbelievers, although they are physically alive, they are SPIRITUALLY DEAD. Consequently, God forbids for His children who are spiritually alive to be one with the dead.
We are encouraged to leave the dead to the dead and live as people of the light.
We know for the partners in any kind of relationship to work effectively and build together, they must walk in agreement on the direction and destination of their journey. “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” – Amos 3:3 (NLT) Christians live pursuing the narrow road and unbelievers the broad road. (Matthew 7:13-14) We can never walk in unity unless we compromise. God intended for our relationships to exist for His glory as we are His Holy temples. God is glorified in our obedience. Relationships that glorify Him are those ordained by Him and those fitting in with the scripture.
We weren’t called to make disciples of all nations and to date them while we are at it. Undiscerning Christians think it a profound ministry strategy to join with unregenerate people in forwarding the gospel. They unknowingly harness Jesus Christ, the Worthy One, with Satan, the worthless one, in an unholy alliance. The enemy is aware of the effectiveness of his attack on the church being greater in joining her instead of fighting her. And he outsmarts us when he manages to succeed in convincing us we can ‘convert’ or ‘change’ his people in engaging in a relationship or marriage with them.
We inspire people to Christ, we DON’T make them Christians.
A lot of us often fall into this trap of thinking we can ‘convert’ or ‘change’ people when in reality we can’t. God alone can transform the heart of the dead and it’s affections through His supernatural work. Our responsibility is to reflect Him in our lives and to proclaim His truth in boldness and love. Through my several failed attempts in the past, I have realised if you actually stay long enough in this type of relationship, it could, in fact, influence your change. You may disagree but your change begins with the little compromises you make and before you know it, you are lost in their darkness.
Yes, there have been cases where believers dated or married unbelievers and they led them to Christ. However, that is not the norm, it’s totally not supported by the scripture (1 Corinthians 15:33) and we can’t afford to settle for potential. We need to ensure we have our security and guarantee in God in our relationships.
You better believe He isn’t guaranteeing you a positive outcome when you are intentionally choosing to go against His Word and make your own ungodly choice of partnering with darkness.
If you are currently in an unequally yoked relationship:
- And you are smitten by how FINE that dude or lady may be in the flesh, you need to wake up to see how far from fine they are in the spirit. The enemy is using your weaknesses and emotions against you to cloud your vision of this person so you may not see them for who they really are and whose they are. The truth is regardless of how angelic this person may appear to be, it doesn’t change the fact they are the children of Satan. This may sound harsh but these are the words of Jesus (John 8:42-47). If a person is carrying the spirit of the enemy instead of God’s, they are of the spirit that dwells in them. (Romans 8:9-10 & 14-16) They are vessels of the spirit that have complete control over their lives. And they are absolutely not worth jeopardising your holiness and relationship with Christ.
- And you feel deeply attached to the person due to an emotional, heart or soul ties, you most likely have convinced yourself you can’t leave because you love them and you want to stay with them to ‘help them change’. Remember that God loves them more than you could ever love them in a million years. If you love them, leave them to the hands of God who created them. Give Him space and the time to give sight to their blindness and hearing to their deafness. Let God deal with them but without you.
- And you are questioning if in case this is the will of God for your life…
The perfect will of God is to join His sons with His daughters and vice versa. God isn’t in the business of joining His sons with Jezebel and His daughters with Ismael. God cares for you far too much to marry you to children of his enemy, Satan. So let go, and let God have His way. Sincerely, pray to the Lord to be set free from this bondage and the Spirit of the Lord will set you free and heal you gradually.
In conclusion, I have learned that finding ourselves trying to enter in a relationship with unbelievers or those whom we aren’t convinced to be true followers of Christ reflects our ultimate lack of joy and patience in Christ. At this point, we will be willing to settle and fracture our relationship with our eternal bridegroom because we are sick and tired of waiting on God for His best as our eyes are fixed on earthly things and not the heavenly things. “Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth.” – Colossians 3:2
I encourage you brethren, to keep your godly standards in place and never compromise where God and His Word are concerned. If you are currently unequally yoked with a certain someone, I encourage you by the grace of God to peacefully bring it to an end. I know it is hard but it must be done. If you have any Christian friends who are in this situation, I plead with you to inform and remind them of its consequences. You could save them from a lifetime of regret. Let us be intentional about living God’s best life for us. REMEMBER: God’s best will always be affirmed by the Word and Spirit of God.
“The worst form of INEQUALITY is to try to make unequal things equal.”
God Loves You, Always & Forever!0