I once used to be the girl who dreamt of attracting Boaz without being Ruth. Boaz was the God fearing husband of Ruth. Their story is found in the book of Ruth. For many years I struggled to solve my puzzle of attracting flies instead of real warriors of the Lord. Little did I know WASTE only attracts flies.
By this I don’t mean that whoever is attracted to you defines you. However, it means we can’t attract what we are not. We often get busy praying for that amazing wife/husband when we are not what we are praying for. The Lord desires for us all to surrender our singleness to Him to be built into His best for whom He has for us.
The majority of us get entangled with the myth of marriage that we forget the cost of a ‘godly marriage’. We don’t realize a house built on a weak foundation, will tremble down one day. The COST of rebuilding it is far more expensive than working on the foundation now. I believe we all wish to have a marriage that will endure until the end. However, we don’t trust God enough to let Him write our love story. Salvation is the only free gift in the Christian walk everything else is costly. Are you willing to pay the price for what you want in life? If we truly desire God we must let go off all that contradicts His Word. If you desire to have a God glorifying, stable marriage, you must pay the price of laying a strong foundation during your singleness.
The BEAUTY of singleness
CHRISTian Ladies, do you know marriage is not for the lonely BUT alone people? The lonely is not satisfied in God & feels empty or incomplete without a spouse/human. The alone is complete, content & busy with God. Which state are you currently in? As I mentioned in my previous post, singleness is a time of cultivation & investment for you. Essential habits such as sitting at the feet of the Lord daily will be difficult for you to develop later on in marriage. The seeds you don’t saw now, you can’t expect to reap fruits from during harvest season. This is the season of your life where you can grow to become quite the wife God wants you to become.
For one to grow to become the royal wife Christ died to enable them to become they have to devote their singleness to Him & stay focused. Beyond self-growth the beauty of your singleness is in the number of things you can do & involve yourself in. For example, I personally go on dates with my King Jesus. Yes, I said ‘dates’ lol. Some of you may find this hilarious or bizarre but it is true. God wants to spend as much quality time as possible with us due to His infinite love towards us. Why is it okay for us to hang out with dust & not the lover of our soul? So, I go to the cinema with Him & watch movies. I go to cafés and I sit with Him & write. He is such a gentleman, He makes me feel beyond special. He leads me & truly shows me my worth in Him. You see spending time with Christ enables you to acknowledge your value as His little queen/king as well as building you up by mirroring your heart & pruning you.
As a single person you can travel around the world as you please without having to explain to anyone. You can write, read tons of books, learn to cook foreign foods, involve in as many ministries in your church as you can and mainly figure out what God has called you to do with the gifts & talents He has placed in you. It isn’t a wise decision to rush to end this beautiful season outside the will of God and His timing. Sister, don’t rush for the ring instead focus on the King and relax…doing all He has prepared for you to do in this season of preparation. I wouldn’t want to stand before the Lord one day and have Him show me all the tasks He prepared for my single season, yet I wasted that precious time wondering about my future husband. I can’t even stand the thought of it. How do you know you’ll even live to be married? Tomorrow is not promised!
The PURPOSE of singleness
God created everything with purpose. He didn’t suddenly decide to make humans, He created both Adam & Eve with purpose. He made the man to cultivate the ground & to lead and the woman to meet the needs of the active man of God. God calls the woman a ‘suitable helper’ in Genesis 2:18. Helper means ‘ezer’ in Hebrew. According to R. David Freedman ‘ezer’ is a combination of two roots, meaning “to rescue, to save”, and “strength”. This indicates women play a powerful role in assisting men to complete their spiritual calling on earth. For one to become a ‘suitable helper’ or a ‘HELPMATE’ she needs to be trained & molded by her creator.
The main purpose of your singleness is to build your relationship with God & prepare you for a royal marriage (If marriage is in God’s plan for your life). As a wise man of God once said “Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.” An athlete who is about to run a marathon to win trains as much as he/she possibly can before they begin the race. “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10 (NLT) A ruby is a gemstone of nobility, considered the most magnificent of all gems, the queen of stones and the stone of kings. It surpasses all other precious stones in virtue, and its value exceeds even that of the Diamond and is RARER. Yet a virtuous wife is more precious than a ruby. Wow!
All natural rubies have imperfections in them, and require the treatment of Gemologists to be cut and refined to be fit for their purpose. If your worth is to be far more precious than rubies how much more does the Lord need to cut & heat you to separate you from your ungodly characteristics & make you fit for your purpose? He can only do this when you decide to be ‘single & ALONE’ with Him. You will not just be a wife one day but a leader of nations. You will not raise children…you’ll be raising nations for Christ. You first need to submit to Jesus fully before He can trust you with nations’ honey. Allow Him make a virtuous woman out of you like Ruth.
“A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.” – Proverbs 12:4 You wouldn’t want to be like a deadly disease to your one day husband, so wise up enough to let the Lord fulfil His purpose in your singleness. Women might be everywhere but a wife who will be a man’s ‘suitable helper’ is not everywhere, she is a rear jewel. Only the humble finds her on his way! This wife is birthed out of an intimacy with Jesus behind closed doors. Don’t sale yourself short at a value of a stone when you can stay hidden in the Lord to be made into a priceless jewel and be the gift of a true man of God.
WHY WAIT ON GOD?
Our singleness, courtship & marriage are all meant to be for the glory of God. He can only be exalted in our singleness when He is at the heart of all that we do. Our courtships & marriages glorify Him when they are led & authorised by Him. God is the author & perfecter of TRUE LOVE. Who do you think can write your love story better than the one who made all creation? He knew your end before He knitted you in your mommy’s tommy. This is WHY you should wait on Him. He knows BEST for you. Be the one to wait on God being drenched in Proverbs 31.
The RIGHT thing at the WRONG time is the WRONG THING. If you try to be with the ‘right’ person at the wrong time it will definitely become the wrong thing as you are not ready to be with the person in the sight of God. Your lack of maturity in certain areas, could cause you to ‘entertain sin’. For God to honour your union with a man you must wait for Him to release you in His time. For only He knows when you are really ready. What God doesn’t bless could seriously become a curse. To ensure you accept the ring from the right person you must wait. There is no return from “I DO!” Divorce is not an option for offspring’s’ of God. “But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.” – Isaiah 40:31 (MSG)
During the waiting time God makes you whole by completing you, preventing you from making your future spouse your god. Your significant other can only complement you, NEVER complete you. Expectation for completion will leave you with disappointment. It’s clearly not the desire of God our partners become our gods in our marriages and btw HUMANS MAKE TERRIBLE GODS! Only Christ can complete you by filling that God size void in your heart. When that hole is filled by the presence of God everything else becomes a bonus. So, wait for the Lord is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.
DO NOT AWAKEN LOVE BEFORE IT’S TIME. – Song of Solomon 8:4 This doesn’t mean don’t desire to have a husband but don’t awaken that lustful feeling until it’s time. Are you currently BUSY searching or chasing after Boaz or God? Where is your heart? A Christian woman’s heart should be hidden in Christ that a man has to seek Him to find her. Biblically, it’s the responsibility of the man to find a wife. The scripture doesn’t say “The woman who finds a husband…” BUT “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favour from the LORD.”– Proverbs 18:22 God carries out the presentation (Genesis 2:22) in His perfect timing not your time.
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God Loves You, Always & Forever!1